Finding safety in your own emotional boundaries

This week in the midst of tension, hurry and tiredness I found a safe space within setting my own emotional boundaries. And just breathing.

There was turmoil ongoing around me. Yet I held my peace. I breathed and listened. Both myself and others whose mind was loud.

My one big challenge with my peace loving heart rises to the surface when someone is loud with their emotions. I tend to be drawn in.

Yet now I practiced this new way. Staying within my own emotional boundaries. Staying true to my own current peace of mind.

I practiced still being present as well. Since another of my challenges is that I either withdraw or get loud and angry myself too.

So I formed a sentence in my head while the outside turmoil was ongoing. And I checked that it was empty of irony, which so easily slips into my words in these kinds of moments as I'm falling to my old passive-aggressive habits.

To my own surprise I was able to process with calm objectivity the loud outside turmoil. And yet I stayed present, acknowledging the other person and their emotions. I told them I heard them, yet I chose to practice staying detached emotionally, keeping my own peace.

Still I took what was communicated in between the emotions and acted caring for the topics that were in the heart of the turmoil.

The moment of turmoil passed and I received apologies. And I kept on going without the smell of the smoke. No bitterness followed me, like many times before when I faced someones turmoil and kept a peaceful surface myself. This was a strong different experience.

A healthy experience all in all. Now I'm looking forward for more of this. And for more of truthful direct communication of my needs without blaming. I found such a beautiful place to be even in the eye of the turmoil, staying still with my peace.

Have you thought, what is your peace practice in this season?

I'll leave my Finnish friends a recommendation of a book that I haven't yet quite finished but which has spoken to me very much about how past shame experiences live in our body.

• Book recommendation - in Finnish: Häpeän Alkemia - Kaisa Peltola