You know how freeing it is to acknowledge your flaws?
It feels so deliberating to actually be okay with you being a flawed human being.
You and I are both in the midst of our own growth process.
And meanwhile we commit to taking responsibility for our own behaviour.
Today I share a little bit about my flaws.
Some are the very reason why I also chose to get help while we moved to Uruguay.
But more about that a bit later today.
I’m a recovering hunter gatherer.
My one weakness is bags of all kinds.
I gather plastic bags, paper bags, cooler bags, shopping bags and if the list wasn’t painful enough, also fruit and veggie bags.
I gather them all for some good use.
Yet, for most of them I don’t really know exactly what that specific use is.
At this point I hide my face and peek behind my fingers.
I also have a personality type with a tendency to have at least one area of my life out of control.
Oftentimes that shows up in the way I let some parts of my home be in chaos while I choose creativity over being in control of everything.
Right now I tuck my clothes into their bins instead of folding like I did in the beginning and have three bags of unfolded clean laundry.
My office shelves are full of clutter that is mostly paper and some “very useful at one day” nonsense.
Most of our belongings don’t have a proper place so they wander around the house.
I secretly dream of the order I had in my home where we lived for five years and I had time to organize each part of order or chaos to at least have it’s own named place.
For the sake of mine and my family’s sanity, and as I work mostly long hours and also grow my own business in my freetime, I hired help.
I was lucky to find the kindest human being to help with cleaning (countryside: muddy & dust go together), laundry (boys=a lot of dirty clothes on the floors), dishes (new glass for each sip, oh my word), cooking (not many prepared foods in here), grocery shopping (very slow, oops someone before me forgot a tomato and just ran back all the isles to go get it while we patiently wait) and even to run some other errands if needed (some bills are paid only in person waiting in line behind the office counter, send help!).
And she is very patient with my slowly evolving Spanish, which we only use for communicating.
She has helped us tremendously to free time for charging our batteries when off from work and for other things we value while our home is not such a chaos as it could be.
Another flaw I have can be seen in my own behaviour.
My path growing up took me through a roaring sea and I’m still recovering my trust and healthy communication skills while I’m mad.
I tend to too easily blame others or act as if I was a victim of my circumstances.
I’m learning to take responsibility and to see my circumstances as neutral, to which my thoughts actually just give a specific meaning.
I’m growing in honoring others peace while I’m angry and processing my own feelings as separate from others.
My communication practices are these: if someone is upset, I’m learning to thank them for their feedback but tell them that I don’t receive their insults.
I get back to the discussion when the discussion is honoring.
I say I’m sorry when I screw up.
I’m learning to tell what I need as a neutral matter, not as a demanding disguised blaming for the other person.
I’m helping them with kind words to understand how I’m feeling and experiencing things.
I can say I’ve come a long way but I am in no way perfect.
Yet I’m willing to grow in humility while I also learn that skill from my husband who is such an amazing companion in all of this.
Together we are finding new ways of communicating which brings more peace and deeper understanding and affection for each other.
Where are you growing and how is it helping you to focus on the beauty in your life despite human incompleteness?
