Courage in Discuise

Have you thought about how bravery looks and feels like?

How does bravery feel like when we carry the image that we're extremely shy?

Or when normal daily situations push you violently into a pit of anxiety, mirroring what once happened to you and predicting your doom around every corner.

How does being brave feel like with that baggage?

Would you call it bravery if it looks just perfectly normal activity from the outsider perspective?

Courage as a word provokes images of confidence, calm and steady.

When actually lived out, it can feel like many other very opposite internally chaotic scenarios.

When you and I seek our path it's often easy to withdraw from situations where real, raw courage is inevitably needed.

Yet, what's interesting about courage, is that it doesn't automatically give you credit.

And in practise, you can water down lived out courage with millions of explanations.

In reality, even during just the past week, you've been tremendously brave.

You've put yourself out there on hard days.

You've chosen to show up for others when you had hundred of reasons why not.

The thoughts that you think, are echoing in your mind creating this another reality, the non-brave you.

Reasons why it was easy for you to act like you did come flooding.

It's suddenly crystal clear that what happened had zero to do with you choosing to be brave and everything with sunny circumstances, in the end.

You shrink into a size of a pea in a pod and the hero of the story is out of the blue some random imaginary explanation.

Although, in the midst of it all, you've been secretly using the muscle of bravery and seen the outcome.

Behind the illusion, this is what real bravery feels like.

Embracing the messy.

Taking responsibility of the things you did wrong, that caused someone else pain, or just plainly more work.

Dealing with things that cause you pain and cleaning that emotional dirty laundry.

Feeling scared out of your being and choosing to show up anyway.

Doing the things failing forward, with poor results, while inside you went through a paralyzed-by-fear experience and came to the other side with a "DONE" stamp on your forehead.

To be honest, it's time for you to get honest with yourself.

Those messy results you're seeing in your life, what if they are real and raw bravery in their core?

What if, the only person between you and the realization of how brave you already are, is Y O U?

Isn't it time to be brave with giving yourself some serious credit?

The world around you doesn't need to give fanfairs or shower party glitter over you.

It is radically powerful enough, that you give yourself honest feedback.

And see the things as what they really are.

Speaking out, while carrying the image of being shy is utmost bravery.

No medals are given for that.

You need to stand up for yourself and show yourself some loving, compassionate and serious admiration.

Doing the daily things that fly your anxiety to the roof?

Give yourself an authentic applause.

Seriously.

Stop what you're doing and recognize for once, how actually awesome you are.

You were made for being brave.

It's part of the manuscript of life.

When you start counting fairly your everyday bravery in disguise, it soon becomes like counting the stars.

Every time you realize, that messy situation is undoubtedly paired with your everyday bravery, give yourself an imaginary sticker on your shoulder.

It may look like a parrot or not, yet the mental act carries a powerful message.

That someone sees you being brave.

And often times we are that most influential someone to ourselves, when we just start acting like our very best friend.

Sooner or later when you find your inner being been laminated with some bird stickers, in your gut you'll know, that you are actually unbelievably brave.

Love,

Pia

Thoughts on giving yourself a chance

Have you paused to ponder, how often you give yourself a chance, when doing something hard?

I caught myself this week blaming myself for lack of effort.

Then I thought about this.

How often I give other people in my life a chance to improve their skills on what is hard for them.

Yet I demand from myself an ungracious amount of effort and skills while I am just starting to learn a new skill.

If you find yourself being harsh on yourself, these three things have helped me to have patience with myself.

And to hold space for my growth in a sustainable way.

1️⃣ Find a powerful thought that you remind yourself of when you would be ready to blame yourself.

For me that has been something like this, lately: "I am learning a new skill and it is okay to take time."

2️⃣ Surround yourself with people who are growth minded.

I've joined a coaching group and listen to my coach sharing her wisdom in podcasts and coaching sessions.

3️⃣ Visualize the outcome of the process.

I'm clarifying to myself how this process is part of the bigger plan I have for the future and for today. When I realize how it also serves in learning the other skill sets I aim for, that boosts my patience.

Patience with yourself, while learning new things, helps you tremendously to enjoy the process.

Hugs!

Pia

What I have learned from life with dogs - part 3

If you've ever wondered what life is like with a puppy, this is our family's honest down to earth experience.

While I'm writing this blog it's almost four o'clock in the morning and our puppy Nala is crying close by in her puppy play pen.

She just woke up, needing to go out for one more successful round of "potty-training".

As I'm not a professional dog trainer, what I've learned is one take away from an everyday dog owner.

I've gathered wisdom from my puppy's breeders advice, several dog raising books and a few dog raising series on the Disney streaming channel.

There's no one way to understand dogs and to train them, I've learned, yet finding your way brings clarity.

So here comes some of my nuggets for you.

🐾 Your puppy's and dog's needs come before your wants.

If I want to play with the puppy while they're already over tired and stimulated, what is the best choice?

I choose to put her to her playpen to learn to fall asleep on her own.

This way she doesn't end up biting my hands when her tiredness tales over uncontrollably.

🐾 Good enough dog ownership is what you'll want to aim for.

If you'll consider that you'll be a dog owner for the next decade, establishing good routines that are doable is the long term key.

It helps your family and your dog.

What are the elements for your dogs wellbeing that you can follow through everyday?

My puppy is just a few months old, and can only run around in our yard for a sec. 

Since it's freezing outside, some minus degrees Celsius, she could easily get a urinary infection. 

Nevertheless, I'm training my dog owner skills with a habit of walking, preferably for a longer while.

I tell my family I'm going for Nala's walk.

They know it's thirty minutes.

🐾 Set your boundaries.

Our dog doesn't go to or sleep in our beds or don't go to the kids room - thus the puppy gate.

She's going to be a big dog as a Labrador Retriever and we're training her with that in mind.

We don't give her food from the table either.

She follows her own meal times, right now three times a day.

We warm up water to soften the puppy large breed dog pellets.

We've learned about poisonous things for dogs, and keep away from her anything that could harm her.

Even in our garden there's a plant that's poisonous for her and we won't allow her to chew on it.

🐾 Training pays off.

Already we can see how our "potty-training" is paying off.

There's been no mess to clean after the first night, that would have happened during the night.

And during the days taking Nala outside to bathroom breaks has lessened the mess and accidents inside.

We're training her to come to us when we whistle twice.

She loves her treats and comes gladly when she hears the whistle.

She gets her food when she sits down and waits.

She is growing with patience to let the food cup go lower, and can now wait until it's down all the way.

Calming herself down and falling asleep on her own is one of the things we let her practice.

🐾 There will be mess.

We're cleaning the stinky surprises every now and then and our "potty-training" phase is still ongoing.

We're cleaning the mess after the meal times from the floor all around.

Bathing a Labrador is fun for the dog as well and within the few last week's time we've already done it a few times.

We even brush Nala's teeth with a puppy tooth brush and paste, so her breathe doesn't smell as much and to keep her teeth healthy.

🐾 Your dog will learn from your praise.

I'm being mindful of paying attention to things I want to reinforce.

I praise Nala when she does something I want her to do more.

When she sits nicely or lies down calmly, I praise her and pet her.

When she sits nicely and is not whining I go to take her from her play pen.

🐾 Puppy phase lasts for a little while.

Soon you'll have a grown up dog who knows a lot more.

This puppy phase is rewarding and at the same time you're eagerly waiting for all the things you can do with an adult dog.

Now Nala is asleep again and I'll go sleep some more.

See ya!

What I have learned from life with dogs - part 2

If you've always had a weak spot for animals, for their cuteness, character and interesting ways, then you'll get it.

That sometimes there's just this empty spot in your life, that's a shape of a dog.

Or some other animal.

I have now owned a dog, puppy we named Nala, for one week.

For me the process of being brave enough to have a dog, was a long winding road.

My kids love animals, while me and my husband too.

Yet our love for travelling and seeing the world won all the arguments, before.

What I learned in this process, I want to share with you, if it would help someone having a similar struggle.

What a dog in a family did for us, you might ask.

It brought us together.

It taught us to be in the moment.

We saw nature suddenly with the dogs eyes.

We got excited for the bunnies in the bushes, as long as the dog couldn't catch them, haha.

Our family was so deeply touched by our friends dogs, that everytime they left from our place, the house felt kind of empty.

I missed them when I brushed the fur from the floors while they were not around to run to greet me.

Those dogs taught me with their story as well, very deeply.

Reminding how our way of treating the dog is one of the most powerful forces in their life.

Because they depend on people.

They are not like their relatives, wolves.

They have a certain bond with people, and their loyal little heart is affected by our choices.

I learned a lot about the meaning of leadership through my time with the dogs.

Now I'm learning to lead my puppy.

And some things are hard for me to do.

To put a boundary on place.

Yet I think of the grown up dog, how will this boundary now help them later, when they learn to respect and follow it.

I've started the three year period of training, I tell myself.

So I'm not living in an illusion that with some magic trick my dog will learn every important thing.

I look my puppy in the eyes, and when it sees me, I show or tell what I need her to do.

I show with very simple, clear and practical ways.

I use a whistle to tell the puppy when to run to me.

I give her lots of praise when she does what is expected from her.

When she doesn't do it I ignore the behavior.

She is a full on biter at the moment with her little spiky puppy teeth.

And the hardest part is to put a boundary on her biting, but I do it thinking of the benefits this will bring her later.

Dogs have taught me beautiful glimpses of what loyalty means, how it changes your heart, when you let it.

When you put someone else's needs before you, how that actually fills something in you.

When it takes, it gives back ten fold.

There's that belonging, lots of laughter and peace.

There are challenges where I grow.

Now our family is planning our future travels with a car.

Or a ferry.

As long as we can take Nala with us, once she is old enough.

Unless someone sweet wants to take her for a dog-sleep-over.

Or just a few of us go and rest stay at home with her.

When you have a dog in your life, even if it's a friend's dog who visits you every now and then.

Be warned.

It might happen to you what happened to us.

If someone had told me two years ago, I will have a puppy in the beginning of this year, I would have laughed long and hard.

Now I have a hard time even driving my car, when I just want to look at all the dogs walking with their owners.

Those two dogs of my friend in Uruguay stole my heart all in all.

And this is the result.

They made me a diehard dog person.

I never imagined, when on my way to Uruguay, that after that time I'd end up with a Labrador retriever girl.

Life with dogs is an adventure, that I can say.

And mine has only just begun.

Now is your turn.

If you have a dog, what it's like?

Or if you want one, what kind of dog is capturing your heart at the moment?

Or do you have some other kind of pet?

Let me know in the comments!