Reframing rest

Let's break down the guilt around resting and how to shift the mindset toward self-compassion.

Practical tips: micro-rests, reframing “I should” thoughts, embracing small pauses.

value

Have you thought of it this way, that your value does not waver depending on your productivity? It does not increase or decrease based on if you're being productive or not? 

So when you're resting and wrestling with guilt could you think of it like this? Like in our kids' radio phones, there's two modes. One is for sending out messages and another is for receiving. While you're sending out a message you can't receive. 

So if resting would be similar to that receiving mode, wouldn't it mean this? You’ve been looking for answers to something so hard and then when you rest you suddenly have an idea that solves the whole thing. If you would have asked some serious questions and while in rest the answer would just pop up, like letters in the mailbox. 

Rest and productivity are both from their value neutral. They have only the meaning that you give to them. Which value will you choose to give? 

balance

I promote balance in life yet as a certain kind of extremist I also like to take spurts with whimsical projects like planting over sixty peony roots in almost one month's time to 50 x 50 x 50 cm wide holes on the ground, mixing dozens of bags of sand to some good quality dirt.

But while allowing myself to do these kinds of extreme actions every now and then I always make sure I have a season of mundane everyday routines instilled in between. And I’m nesting at home not planning anything special for an extended period of time.

Balance for me looks like this, my nervous system which reminds me of a rubber band, not being stretched out for a longer period of time without some hard core rest.

Here's some elements of rest how I see it. As an introvert reserving our home as a space just for our family for the resting season. Early nights and late mornings in pajamas, while the space around us is calm, fire crackling in the fireplace or coffee slowly brewing. Sharing funny thoughts and laughing together. Uninterrupted sauna with lots to drink and my favorite scents. Nature walks where there's no rush, just wonder and ease.

What does balance mean to you? What does it look and feel like? Finding your rhythm is precious. I share life with hubby who has a different rhythm than I do and just the other day while renovating I shared my thoughts with him on how to better match our rhythms together. He’s slowing down for my pace and I’m keeping up with him. But then I take a pause and go for a short nap. Or eat food while actually sitting down. As we're in the renovation season and life looks more like chaos than peace, nurturing our ability to rest is even more vital, I’ve reminded myself once again. 

micro-rest

For me micro-rest can look as simple as closing the door. Staying alone for a sec as an introvert is a gift. Because then all the thought bubbles that activate while I’m with other people, will dissolve and I can just be. 

When you start to look for micro-rest elements that suit you, think of the posture that you have in different scenarios. When does your breathing feel at ease? And your shoulders drop. You can feel like yourself again, not trying anything, not proving. Just being. 

Sprinkle those elements to your day. In tiny, small portions they will allow you to reset your mind, heart rate, and peace. I have several micro-rest supporting elements packed in my bag for office days. And in my everyday go to handbag I always carry a small toolkit.

I have my relaxing essential oils, grapefruit lip balm, mossy green water bottle, calming blue tea thermos mug, lavender hand lotion, two sets of earphones for listening music or audio books on low volume while noise goes up around and I’m doing repetitive tasks. A little notebook for writing down life’s a-ha moments. What does your micro-rest toolkit look like?

Love,

Pia