Art of becoming a >> b a b e <<.

Why does it serve your relationships to fill your own needs by yourself?

Have you ever secretly wished for someone else to come and fill your desperate need? 

And when it didn't happen, you found yourself to be bitterly disappointed?

Yes, that was me.

Before I understood the secret of actively filling my own needs.

I'm still in that early stage of learning the art but I'm already seeing the fruit of this trade.

Here's why it's so powerful for you.

When you secretly wish for something, no one else knows about your desperate need.

No one else feels the void you're facing.

No one else senses the feeling it spreads over your whole body.

And no one else understands why you feel hurt, lonely and abandoned.

They only experience your bitterness like a taste in their mouth that they don't want to swallow.

That's why actively seeking the "how" answer for filling your own most desperate needs is so powerful for your relationships.

It loosens you up.

You're much more relaxed to be around.

Your company feels like the fresh Spring air.

Delightful, refreshing and vibrant.

Now you might think "but how can I fill my own needs, shouldn't it be someone else who does that"?

So, let's think about babies for a second.

How they cry, kick and scream occasionally.

And that's how you know that they need something.

But we're not babies.

And we don't want to be.

More likely we want to be  b a b e s.

Those beings who even walk so lightly and happily that their people just want to walk with them, where ever they go.

Babes like that don't whine about things, they makes things happen for themselves, to feel fulfilled.

And that's their secret for spreading that atmosphere they spread around them.

A thought of becoming and being more of a that kind of babe just feels joyful to even think about.

Here's what you and I can do.

When we set that magic question  h o w  in front of us, we can start seeing the unseen opportunities to fill our deep needs.

We find before so secret streams where we can fill our cup to overflow.

We find those magical moments, and even if they were five seconds, minutes or more, they send electric waves of bliss throughout our body.

The message of >> I am being taken care of << floats into your every cell.

The thing is, that when you ask yourself the how question, you start seeing that it's not so complicated to get your needs met.

Because you are a master of knowing how you feel, what you think and what exactly you desire.

You understand the value of you yourself being the number one active person in your life filling your needs.

And through all the practice you get better and better at it.

Start with the little "how"s and let yourself to be amazed at how much they can fill your soul.

Let it be simple for you.

Let the search be fun.

You knowing you and learning to serve your own needs is just magical.

Love,

Pia

*Photo credit to my dear friend Katia 💕

The old me would have stayed in the fight

We were driving on our free day when the fight broke loose.

Usually it happens between the kids, yet this time it was hubby and me.

We went on with a topic that was all flames and gasoline.

There were a lot of emotions in the car.

And there wasn't much space left for understanding the words that were communicated between us.

The usual misunderstanding scene, in other words.

When after a little while we made peace with each other and apologised we agreed to take a pause with that topic.

Meanwhile, I also realized one thing.

How my business has taught me profoundly to understand healthy boundaries in relationships.

While growing as a person through my personal development journey, I've learned where my boundaries go.

That was one reason why I fell in love with the social selling business model in the first place - ninety percent of the work is personal development.

As that topic brought up a lot of negative thoughts and very little understanding I went on to protect the peace between us two.

As the topic had to do mostly with me I could set a healthy boundary around it.

I decided to enter that discussion next time only through certain peace ensuring boundaries to protect our connection.

After communicating that I took ownership of my own emotions in that area.

I decided how to move on and deal with my own negative thoughts around that topic.

If this scene would have happened a few years back, I would have stayed in the fight and kept on harming our relationship.

Seeing the growth that you're embracing is such a beautiful thing.

When you habitually set healthy boundaries, you understand how deeply their only purpose is to protect what is valuable between you and the other person.

How boundaries are not set to hurt others or keep them away from your life.

But to actually cherish the love and respect you have for each other.

That way there is space for different opinions and that deep peace between you two.

What is an area where you've seen your own growth lately?

It might help to even see some old pictures of yourself to realize how far you've come.

Cherish and champion the new you who is growing within.

Love, 

Pia

Your younger self would be proud of you

Your younger self would be proud of you.

When you remember how you looked at adult life as a child, how did it feel?

Confusing maybe? 

Or complicated?

During those years when it was your time to just play, what was your perspective on growing up?

Today you’re doing some hard things.

Today you’re showing up in bigger shoes than you might have thought not possible.

What part of it is your efforts?

How has your surrender to live your life more boldly than in hiding been affecting the outcome where you are now?

Sometimes we get very caught into some things that haven’t worked out like we planned.

And how that can shadow the successes and deep joys of living the life we live right now, it can have an overwhelming effect.

What you can do today to find some clarity is this.

Go back to those moments being a little child, wondering about the foreign adult life complexities.

Find out how your little self could be proud of you today.

What you think as an obvious action, minimizing your role in it with “of course I did that” or “everybody can do this” might be a huge celebration for that little girl you once were.

So for her sake, give yourself that credit.

Celebrate your life as that little girl would.

Tap back into that innocence of heart where deep gratitude flows.

It helps you to recognize treasures you had forgotten you already have.

From that place those shadows of disappointments lose their power over your tomorrow. 

They cannot trap you anymore as your thoughts sour higher.

You’re running with that summer dress to hills and mountains to see the wider perspective in life.

You're flying that kite of gratitude like it was a dividing line of “this is where my disappointments are my mere teachers from now on”.

And “this is where the little girl in me celebrates my life as it is now”.

Fly that kite with that little girl and look into her bright shining eyes.

You’ll see a reflection of who you are becoming as you let yourself celebrate your journey. 

Right here, right now.

How joy is a fuel

When I was a young high schooler I started going to an art class after school with my dear grandma.

In my family, on both sides, there are artists whose paintings I was used to admiring on the walls from a young age.

My grandma's, my father's mother's paintings were one of those besides my mom's and her sister's art.

So going with her to that art class was a big thing for me.

I remember the pressure though, that was building on my shoulders.

I was slowly dropping down my posture.

I was mentally drawn to feel sadness and despair.

All that was building up in me with the main thought of "I got to paint something that is worth an applause."

What a draining though to have for a young girl in her first night class for art.

I still have that cat which I painted with watercolors.

Its head is twisted unnaturally to look at you, like one of an owl.

With the colors of white, gray and slightly showing yellow.

I can still remember the feeling in my stomach from that art class.

Instead of the vibrant joy of free spirited creativity I felt shame, fear and anxiousness.

And all that because of that demanding thought in my head.

I got to make something worth an applause.

My grandma and the art teacher were both so encouraging for me.

If it weren't the reality that I had painted with my own thoughts I would have loved that night.

Later on I painted on my own many times.

Other times were like that one night at art class.

I got out of my art attempts tearing down the paper and teeth pressed hard together.

My whole body being stiff from disappointment.

"See, I am no good" echoing in my little dizzy head.

Sometimes I found the path to that happy place of vibrant joy and curiosity.

Then there came a season of explosive creativity splashed into the thick acrylic art paper.

Time after time I chose to step into those thoughts "I am already loved and my art is one expression of it."

Flowing out of creativity that's been set free from any boundaries.

Not tied to pressure of showing off or the bullying thoughts of "I need someone to applaud my art".

There was just that little girl in me and her vibrant joy of creative exploration.

She was on a beautiful path between a garden of roses and lilies when she suddenly found a field filled with wildflowers.

Wild, untamed splashes of colorful joy.

And she painted from that place.

Her joy was contagious in my art.

Mostly she painted animals, creatures wild and tame at the same time.

That season with that curious little girl awake in me and those hours of the joy of painting left a mark in me.

I learned to feel in my body the difference between perfectionism and excellency.

One of a cold grip that's squishing everything out of you while nothing is enough.

And the other, let's just say it like this.

That little girl in me knows it.

Contagious joy spilling all over.

Abundance of creative flow where your soul is refreshed like in a fountain.

When you go back to one of those moments of you feeling a defining, contagious joy, how did it feel?

And where in your body did you feel that joy?

It's such a beautiful gift to get to know, and it brings you to the very heart of any kind of art.

Full of life, like a symphony of colors or sounds.

And somewhere in there on that field of wildest flowers, that little girl in you, in awe.

Safe space to be loved

Being faithful to your dream feels like thousands of little deaths that are all worth it and each teaches you to love yourself like never before.

Opening up for growth can feel like a scary thing.

I know it, as I've been looking at myself in the inner mirror and seen the bleeding wounds that are way too old to still be bleeding.

I can tell you that this place of growth is one of the most beautiful places despite the pain.

It's a safe place.

A place where you're healing parts of your story.

Perhaps you have blamed yourself for years for them. 

And now you yourself are becoming that safe space for yourself.

You're learning to be okay while you still feel that pain.

You embrace this place as you know that you're healing.

And through that healing journey you can love yourself more fully and deeply.

And let yourself be loved.

This place is not for you to seek acceptance or to be worthy.

This place is where you find yourself to already be accepted.

To be deeply loved.

And safely held.

When you watch the haunting horrors to their formless faces and give names to them, you're standing on a rock.

That rock is called "b e l o v e d".

And that is who you are.

No horror can suck you deep down to it's cold grip anymore.

'Cause you're seeing how it's all been a lie.

How the fear was born out of the lie of you not being enough, you not being loved in the first place.

And now you are living from that safe space of being loved.

You don't need that healing to be loved.

You are already.

No matter how aching, no matter how broken you feel right now.

You're safe here on this rock.

As you die those thousands of little deaths on your way through healing parts of your story, you become to the other side as more whole.

You're showing yourself that it's safe to put yourself out there.

Because none of what happens is about if you're worthy of love.

So now, look at this thought and see it through the lens of yourself already being loved.

What a beautiful safe space it is for you.

Being faithful to your dream feels like thousands of little deaths that are all worth it and each teaches you to love yourself like never before.