When trauma triggers hit, they can feel like a tidal wave crashing over you—pulling you out of the present and into the past. I've been there too, grappling with memories I didn’t invite and emotions that feel too big to hold. But through this messy process, I’ve found small ways to feel safe again, even in the chaos. These are not quick fixes, but gentle reminders that healing is about showing up for yourself, moment by moment.
Here are five ways to find safety when the storm rises:
1. Remind yourself with a grounding thought you’ve picked beforehand
When I’m triggered, my mind spirals into what-ifs and should-haves, but I’ve learned to interrupt the chaos with a grounding thought. It’s like a lifeline I prepared in calmer times.
For me, it’s: “I’m so loved, and I am safe in this moment.” Repeating it brings me back to where I am, reminding me that my past can’t reach me here.
Think of a phrase that feels safe to you—something simple, something true. Practice saying it when life is calm, so it’s ready when you need it.
2. Anchor yourself in your body
Trauma often pulls us out of our bodies, leaving us disconnected and adrift. One way to feel safe is to gently guide yourself back. Start small—notice your breath, wiggle your fingers, or plant your feet firmly on the ground.
I’ve found comfort in wrapping myself in a soft blanket, letting the weight remind me that I’m still here. Even a warm cup of tea can become an anchor, its heat grounding me in the now. And when the triggers hit hard, a peaceful walk in the woods works for me well.
3. Find a safe place in your imagination
When the world feels unsafe, I close my eyes and retreat to a safe space I’ve built in my mind. For me, it’s a beach by the ocean—a rhythmic, tranquil place where the waves and the sand soothe me and I can breathe freely.
This place doesn’t have to be realistic; it just has to feel like home. Picture every detail—what you see, hear, feel—and let it cradle you when triggers feel overwhelming.
4. Speak to yourself with compassion
Trauma triggers are often accompanied by harsh self-talk: Why can’t I get over this? Why am I so weak? But what if you could rewrite the script?
When I feel small and vulnerable, I imagine speaking to myself the way I would a scared child—with warmth, patience, and love. Phrases like, “It’s okay to feel this way” or “You’re doing your best, and that’s enough,” can be powerful.
Compassion doesn’t erase the pain, but it softens the edges, making it bearable.
5. Connect to something that feels bigger than the pain
Sometimes, the best way to feel safe is to remember we’re part of something larger—whether it’s nature, faith, or community.
When I’m overwhelmed, I step outside and feel the wind on my face or watch the stars above. It’s humbling and comforting to realize the vastness of life. If spirituality resonates with you, a quiet prayer or meditation can help you feel held by something greater.
Your story matters
Healing isn’t about fixing yourself—it’s about learning to hold space for your pain while nurturing your safety. I’ve had days when I thought I’d never feel safe again, but small steps like these have helped me rebuild that sense of belonging to myself.
Remember, you are allowed to seek comfort. You are allowed to take up space, even when it feels hard. And when triggers hit, you have tools to weather the storm. You’ve survived before, and you will again.
What helps you feel safe in difficult moments?
Love,
Pia
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